Living Alone, My Reality Check

Some people crave and need the attention of others and dread a life living alone by themselves. For some of us it is our joy, sure it is not for the faint of heart, we need to provide for ourselves cook our own meals and clean up after ourselves but that’s it, we do not have to care or pick up after others. When I mean living alone, I also mean no children to take care of or man or woman. The money we make is ours and we spend it on ourselves, we have never been married so there is no alimony, never had children no child support which is a big deal when you add up the cost of raising an infant to adulthood can cost you between $250,000-$500,000 when you consider the cost of college. That is $260 a week on one child, not to mention the time in taking care of children and being around to teach them life lessons, that means being a good father and a good mother.

So, for someone like me, it can look like I may be a rouge, or just a free wondering spirit with no bounds. Our free-spirited hearts take us to where we want to go and what we want to do in life, sure we get older and we watch our friends get married and have kids, some stay together others get divorced and remarried. For free spirits life does not get that complicated, we live our lives and when that perfect match comes along we will make sure it is a bond that will last life times.

Who is a perfect match, if there is any perfect relationship? In any relationship, there is compromise and understanding, while we both pitch in to help with the choirs or raising the children and I can tell you not everyone is suited for such things.

Money is not so much a large factor if you’re comfortable with living with in your means, it gives time for more exploration of our life or just having the free time to relax and not have any pressure of raising a family.

Life is even better when you can work from your own home or any remote location and if you love what you do you will love life. When we get use to this lifestyle it is hard to break from, and no there is no love or lovers in my life, women come and go just like friends as we age and the seasons change, it all become so familiar and routine.

People seem to walk in and out of our lives; sometimes trying to find another half to connect with, and possibly live with, seems fraught with obstacles and while we both have needs we may not have the same desires to be together, some people are simply not ready for steady relationships and for the moment they may be, but the interest goes, or they meet someone else. I have seen it happen all the time, couples stay together for years and then move on, some even bounce right back into the dating scene because they cannot handle being alone for a second, or they cannot take care of themselves.

One thing that is certain is you need to take care of yourself if you’re going to be by yourself. Some people must learn the hard way when there young, or you were lucky enough to be raised by parents or sibling to show you the ropes of life.

I was lucky enough to have both a mother and a father as well as an older brother and a sister to watch and learn from their mistakes in life. I have also seen what a 50-year marriage is and know and understand what is needed by the man and the woman to make a marriage work.

Maybe that is why I am so skeptical of every woman I meet, and my standards are high when it comes to how sincere one is when it comes to a relationship. Certainly, if a woman does not show interest or makes me work hard for their attention I am already gone; there is nothing like meeting a woman who keeps it real and lets you know how she is when you meet them, there is also nothing more attractive than this, because it leads to less confusion and more honesty in a relationship. Yet not all those relationship last, like I said before, they come and go, they meet other people, and though it may be sad there is always another woman out there for me to get to know.

Maybe this is just how I was made out to be, enjoying my time alone without having to worry about taking care of someone else. Which is what sparked this blog in the first place. I was sitting in my house feeling grateful for the things I have and happy that I do not have someone giving me choirs or little kids running around and the fact I do not have to change diapers or dish out $1200 a month for a child and taking care of a housewife, some are lucky enough to have a loving and caring housewife but if she does not bring in money that is someone else you need to provide for. I am sure some are happy to do so, others may not be so happy with that situation. There may be an upside for someone else, but I am not that person, nor in this time in my life do I want to be that person.

I get pressure from others to meet a woman and within a few months they want to get married without even stepping foot in my home. This is such a red flag I would not know where to begin. I just do not understand how people can make the commitment of a spending a life with someone they barley know.

This life leaves me with a lot of time on my hands and plenty of time to write, play cards, fish, Tai Chi, Yoga, and after all that I still have time on my hands to paint, read, watch movies, play music, socialize, go for drives, and craft.

You may wonder where someone like me finds love or has love in their life. Well I have family living close and a few friends that I know for a while that I keep in contact with. The yoga studios I have been to are never short of showing affection, kindness, and love. When you develop a deep appreciation for the small things in life and have gratitude when humbling oneself to be happy with things we have, you love life.

When living alone and having a lot of free time on your hands you must have emotional outlets, it is healthy be honest with yourself and let it out, you do need some friends and keep it real with them, balancing our lives is key, and since you have the time I highly advice you consider yoga and Tai Chi to balance your mind, body, and spirit. Control your desires and keep your life clear headed and remain focus, so this way when the rite person comes into your life you will be ready to spend your life building a happy family.